Big Big World

Again comes the annual festival----the Chinese New Year. This time last year although time was limited, I still made it to keep accompany with my grandmother through the lunar new year. But how about this year?

Today in Mrs. Yap’s class, I was absent-minded almost all the time. However hard I tried, I simply couldn’t pull my attention back from the endless imagination of what my parents were doing… Staring at a simple phrase though in my view it was only a collection of nonsense figures, the sounds made by class stirred up my mind into a terrible mass. I even felt the prosperous vines of homesick tightly twined around me, slowly squeezing the air out of my chest. Fish out of water, I laughed at myself. When learning the material with this title, I never thought that one day it would be my turn. Things went worse when in the afternoon Norman did his oral report about his homesickness. I was in deep empathy. To be honest, I dare not phone my mom, because I am afraid of losing the last self-control and bursting into tears. Once I phoned mom, a sudden pain burned my throat, and burned all my words away. I just held the phone tightly in silence, until mom hung up. Everything I see even only slightly related to China, to hometown, or to relatives will evoke the pretty memory deeply hidden in the bottom of my heart.

Dad sent message to me last weekend, saying grandmother was suffering from the chronic heart disease more and more, and she probably could not hold on for my return. I was shocked at that. How can it be! She had promised to me she would recover and welcome the New Year. Yes, I knew it was only comfort. From parents’ serious expression I could infer that the illness was incurable, and it required lots of efforts to stay in the stable state...

I’m struggling between the desperate miss and the reality, and can’t find the way to release all the bad emotions accumulating into a big devil spoiling my recent life here. Low in spirits, I have no mood for the assignments, but I know I have to do it. As a result, I stay up late to finish them because of low efficiency, and drag myself up to the bed. Woke up tired from the nightmare, I always find myself huddled up in the corner of the bed. The room is in silent darkness, except for the roommates are sinking in the dream, breathing gently. Then the birds start to sing for the sunrise. I know a new day has arrived, a new challenge has started.

I have always heard people say that the world is becoming smaller and smaller, but it is such a long distance that cut off me from my warm family, my dear parents, from all i deeply love. World is desperately big, for me, for the apple of my eyes...