Death

It is 3 am. All of my roommates are sleeping. The room is terrible quiet and the weak light of computer make the darkness more mysterious. I am lying in bed but don’t fall asleep. I’m not afraid of this situation, but just thinking about myself.
I have been here for about 4 months, but few things leave deep impressions on me. Everyday I waste a lot of time on playing computer games and pay no attention on other things. As a result, I learn nearly nothing. I get used to determining to study hard and then continue to play games, explaining to myself, “There is still a lot of time.” But now, I find that time is limited because of a word—death.
The first time I get to know the death was 14 years ago, when I was a 5-year old boy. I saw my mother staring at an old photograph without any words. Then from this photograph, I first saw my maternal grandfather, who had been dead before I was born. But at that time, I know little about death. I just thought that my maternal grandfather had goon to a distant place and would come back one day. However, with the time goes on, I know more about death and find that he will never come back. What’s more sad, my paternal grandfather died when I was 12 years old. I could still remember when I was young, he always put me on his thigh, fed me eggs which grandmother cooked for him, and then saw I playing games in the house. I used to think I could stay with him for a long time. But suddenly, I found death had taken him away. For the first time, I felt the death was not far away from us.
Yes, the death is not far away from us. So when it’s time to work hard, never say that “there is lots of time.” Because we never know the time when death would be upon us. The only thing we can do is just make most of our time and with no regret left.
I don’t know why I always would like to touch the gray area of life when I am lonely in the midnight. Maybe in my opinion, it is the situation which is nearest to death: dark, cold, lonely and helpless, just like you are falling through the ice, surrounded by gelid water, feeling the air is being consumed and your spirit is being taken away. It is really awful. However, I would like to remember this feeling, remember that I don’t have too much time to waste, and try to change myself.
Good night, everybody. Br ready for the your coming change.