Do I Really Know Myself

This morning we had a little test:First choose 8 words out of a list of words offered;then let your partner choose 8 words to describe you in order to see what is your image in others' eyes.I think it is very interesting because I am always eager to know how others view me and it seems that I tend to care too much about other people's views on my image.Up to now,almost everyone I met for the first time would comment that I am very gentle and quiet,not like a girl studying science but a girl studying arts.So I wanted to check if everyone holds the same impression.

Compared with the words I chose,NiBei got 4 the same as mine which were careful,peaceful,thoughtful and optimistic.The other four words I chose were sensitive,benevolent,balanced and well-organised.I think I'm sensitive bacause I can always sense the subtle differences around me.For example I can tell if somebody is lying to me or not just by instinct.Another example is that changes in seasons or flowers or leaves can affect my mood.I will feel blue seeind petals falling down.While NiBei thinks that I am reliable,adventurous,active and ambitious which actually I felt happy to hear.

She thinks I am ambitious because I dreamed to be a diplomat.Yeah,that used to be my dream,yet in face with the cruel reality it seems that the dream is gradually dying away.But who knows,maybe it is just being hidden by the dust of the cruel reality,waiting for an inspiration to rekindle itself.Actually I do feel that I am less ambitious than before,becoming more so-called practical．I still appreciate Madame Curie's famous words:"We all need dreamers who are devoted only to the advancement of science,the advancement of human society,not caring about fame or money. "I used to wish to become that kind of dreamer,but then nearly all my friends keep questioning me:"Then how can you support yourself and your family in this fierce and practical world?"To tell the truth,till now I've no idea how to answer them.

Then I asked NiBei the thing I most wanted to know:"What was your first impression of me?""Gentle and quiet."She blurted out the answer without any hesitation. Again it was exactly the same answer as others==!Actually I don't think I am as gentle and quiet as I appear to be.When with my close friends,I think I am humourous,lively and I tend to laugh a lot.

In the past I believed that no one could know me better than myself.But now I begin to doubt whether I really know my personalities fully because so many people view me in exactly the same way.Maybe there doesn't exsit such thing in the world that one can fully understand himself or herself.

P.S:What was your first impression of me and what do you view me now?Eager to know...