This Monday morning, we made a small research with a partner on our personality. While the result was quite beyond our expectation because both Elain and I thought the other was always happy and seldom felt sad. On the contrary, we two considered ourselves being sad rather than happy!
This result left me in meditation. As far as I know there are so many people coming across this phenomenon in daily life, I included. We think ourselves as sensitive and moody, at most time we are in low spirits. But in our friends’ eyes we are happy and optimistic. This phenomenon is popular among all age groups, especially among us teenagers. But why this phenomenon comes into being, I think it depends on three reasons.
The fundamental reason to explain this phenomenon may be that people are not quite familiar with each other. The time we spend together is so limited that we cannot have a clear concept of each other. And in front of others we tend to present ourselves in a happy mood and belie our sadness. In this case we can just know our peers superficially. Thus we step into a situation that we misunderstand other people as always happy rather than sad.
The way we looking at others also contributes to this phenomenon. In modern world we all burden ourselves with so many responsibilities and concerns. Happiness seldom comes and meets us. We are bored with our life which is full of sorrows and sadness, so we want to find out more happiness from the fellow around us and ignore their sadness. That is to say we look for happiness from others and ignore their sorrow deliberately
The last reason in my opinion is people use smile to protect them. The society is developing at a high speed, which in turn leaving little time for us to build a strong relationship. We just know each other but have few chances to further our relationship. What makes matters worse is that life is not as smooth as we wish it to be, it always brings too many concerns to us. Sad as we are, we have no one to reveal our sorrow to and get comfort from. So in our daily life we pretend to be happy and never give out the information that we are sad. The smile has already become a mask to many modern people, under which lies their true emotion.
Maybe different people are affected differently by these three reasons, but at least many of us have this! I think we should analyze ourselves carefully and spare no efforts to find a good solution to it because whatever the reason is, this phenomenon has some negative effect to us when we look at it in a long term!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Smiling is my strongest mask, I never put it off even at the worsest time of my life. and sometimes your smile, even which may be reluctant or pretended, can relieve and help you go though those difficult times.
ReplyDeleteI feel a little sad reading your blog. I don't mind if you don't smile at me. But i don't want you to be reluctant.We use smile to protect ourselves,but not everytime.
ReplyDeleteI also always feel not very happy recently, sometimes even very sadly. But we all know it does no good to ourselves. So I usually tell my sadness to my friends in China. They encouraged me and adviced me to listen to some songs. It works very well. Smile, again, smile, again.
ReplyDeleteYeah,totally agree with you~I don't even know when I started to tend to bottle up my feelings.I always put on smiles in front of others,not willing to reveal my true emotions.I don't like to tell friends my worries except one most intimate friend who,however,is back in China.To most of my friends,I am their best listener and can always think of ways to help them because I always appear optimistic and happy in front of them.Yeah,that's true because only in front of that very friend I can cast away my mask,tell her all my worries and cry as much as I like.But now I am seperated from her and here I again have to one to fully rely on.So in fact most of the time I feel a little bit blue,not so happy,nor so sad...:(
ReplyDeleteTo Wang Yunxiang
ReplyDeleteIt is sure that sometimes we use smile as a maske to protect ourselvs, but I'm sure in many more conditions I smile because I feel happy!
I agree with you that smile is a mask to belie ourselves. A few days ago, I thought that I was happy and not lonely, but finally I find that it was just a lie that I used to numb myself. Maybe I was born to live a lonely life. I feel tired to cared others and from now on, I will be myself. maybe you can do the same thing. Hope you will have a better life.
ReplyDelete